daniel fish’s oklahoma draws on berlin

The other night I was lucky enough to get a ticket for oklahoma on broadway. I had heard mixed things, either people sung high praise or condemned it for “not being the story oklahoma.” And it wasn’t. Well not the classic american musical we thought we knew, instead I was treated to fish’s daring adaption that again made me  ask myself: was this really the play?   

Fish didn’t change a word. Not a word. Nor was any actor eating dirt or making improvised pop culture references. In the gun filled circle in the square theater , I found the first bit of the play frankly to be boring or shall we say “bare for the purpose of being bare.” Until 15 minutes in when I noticed the house lights were still on(across from me was an uncomfortable Timothee Chalamet). I loved this choice and needless to say was a strong and for me, effective Brechtian choice. He then started to play with when he took the house lights down, creating tension in the theater and highlighting certain moments. And then, when Jud and Curly have there first scene, black out, we see a light on the stage and a projection pops up behind the actors. They were using film. This was the point where I took out my Berlin monikers  and smiled at fish’s choice. Fish dug Curly and Jud’s relationship deeper with the close up that film affords you. And if this wasn’t berlin enough, they both took out microphones and he blacked out again, this time the lights stayed off and we only heard their voices. Not only did this build tension between the two characters but it also made the audience uncomfortable, like we were listening to something we shouldn’t be. I also thought to myself a broadway audience sitting in the dark for 5 mins, yay!!! Overall the performance continued to draw on technology and cultural symbolism, a highlight being the famous opening ballet of the second act being danced as a modern piece by a black women in bare feet with a shirt reading “dream baby dream.” He even changes the ending, I won’t spoil it, but in my opinion, this was the choice that took most liberty’s, and i’m still thinking about whether it worked. 

Overall, Fish didn’t care about audiences comfort or they’re recognition of the story they thought they knew. He mined for what was really happening between these characters in this small town, only used what he needed, and put life onstage. 

What I Think About As I Fall Asleep

This is what I wrote 
August 6, 2:46 AM
There is very little editing  so that my ideas to stay true to my sleepy and delirious state. Sorry not sorry. 


With summer going into its final month, the memories of Berlin feel just like memories. They are very sharp and distinct moments which I can feel time has created space in between each different experience. I hope to take the chaotic and beautifully artistic energy from end of May and early June and bring it into the impending doom that is fall semester (not that impending I just wanted a bit of dramatic flair). I can't tell if I have romanticized my time there making it feel like an over exposed hipster film, or it was just as lovely the experience as is the memory. I think what I will miss going into this next year is the fire under my ass Berlin lit. While there and the first few weeks I was in Miami all I wanted to do was be creative and do something, and I fear that my creativity juices won't get a juiced this coming year in the way i'd like ;(. 

Learned Words - ICH WEISS NICHT WAS EIN ORT IST, KENNE NUR SEINEN PREIS to DER PALAST

ICH WEISS NICHT WAS EIN ORT IST, KENNE NUR SEINEN PREIS 

der Niedergang - decline/downfall

schief - askew/crooked

der Einschlag - impact

die Spulmaschine - spooler

abspulen - to unwind/unspool

beschäftigt - busy/occupied/employed

verkneifen - to forbear something/to deny oneself something

riesig - enormous/giant/vast/huge

witzig - funny/comical
der Witz means a joke

oberflächlich - superficial

das Surfbrett - surfboard

der Anschlussfehler - bridging error/connection error

bestimmt - certainly/definitely

die Undeutlichkeit - inarticulateness/indistinctness/cloudiness

undeutlich - fuzzy/unclear/vague

die Deutlichkeit - explicitness/distinctness/clarity
The expression überdeutlichkeit was used in the piece. It doesn't come up in the dictionary, but I'm taking it to mean very explicit/distinct/clear. Also, the three "deutlich" words were written down in my notebook almost one after another. From the two René Pollesch pieces I've seen, it seems like language is central to his work. He seems to play with words in many different ways. In this piece, I felt like he was saying many of the same things in different ways and many different things in the same ways. But I might be wrong about that. His particular and specific use of language makes his pieces more complex and therefore harder for someone like me, a German learner to understand. 

STAATSSICHERHEIT 

der Angriff - assault/attack

die Ewigkeit - eternity

traben - to trot

verzweifelt - desperate

begehrt - sought after/coveted

der Erbschaden - inherited defect

der Anfänger - amateur/novice/newcomer
Anfangen means to begin/start. So it makes sense that someone who is beginning/starting something would be a novice or amateur.

dudeln - to tootle (whatever the hickity heck that means)

begehren - to desire

der Vortrag - lecture/speech

der Bericht - account/report
One of the characters said, Weniger Gedichter, mehr Berichter. A Gedicht is a poem, so I'm assuming in this context, the speaker means poet. Perhaps the phrase means less poets, more reporters? Less art/opinions/flowery language and more cold, hard facts. 

DIE PARALLELWELT 

der Inhalt - content/subject matter/substance

gleichzeitig - at once/simultaneously
Gleich means identical or same. Zeit means time. 

die Kiste - box/chest/crate

endlose - endless

beweisen - to prove/demonstrate

tauchbar - submergible

kaum - hardly/scarcely

erschaffen - to create/fabricate

YOU ARE NOT THE HERO OF THIS STORY

überlastet - overstrained

der Wutanfall - tantrum/fit of rage

der Held - hero

unbedingt - absolute/unconditional

mobben - to bully

abwesend - absent

wiegen - to sway/rock/balance

THE MISANTHROPE (DER MENSCHENFEIND)

erreichen - to win/achieve

erstaunt - amazed/astonished

bescheiden - modest/humble

beneide - to envy/to begrudge

schmeicheln - to bootlick/to flatter/to sweet-talk

die Strafe - punishment/pain

einmalig - once-in-a-lifetime/unique
Ein meaning one and mal meaning time.

verkehrt - wrong/amiss

umgekehrt - contrary/conversely

mager - gaunt

ungelegen - inconvenient/inopportune 

betrachte - to view/regard/consider

klipp und klar - in plain language/in no uncertain terms

künftig - future/in the future
Above is the adjective form. Die Zukunft means the future. 

beleidigen - to affont/insult

gefliest - to tile
As in, to tile a bathroom floor... not sure I heard this one right. But hey! Now you know how to ask to get your bathroom floor tiled!

die Ungeduld - patience/eagerness

beklagen - to complain/bemoan/bewail

die Schwebe - abeyance/suspense

anzuklagend - chargeable

DER PALAST

vermieter - landlord

umwerfend - dazzling/stunning/devastatingly

verdampft - evaporated/vaporized

tollkühn - foolish/foolhardy

scheitern - to fail

reinhauen - to pack a punch

schikanieren - to harass/to bully around

verschimmelte - mouldy

die Steuer - taxes

verprügeln - to wallop/flog/batter

Mietenwahnsinn
This is another word that doesn't show up in a dictionary. But that's the beauty of the German language! Don't have a word that describes what you mean? Make one! This word is composed of mieten - to rent and Wahnsinn - madness. Put it together and you get rent madness! I believe this refers to unfair landlord practices along with high rents and the like. Upon searching for the word, I found it to be a popular hashtag on Twitter concerning those topics and more, such as how mass tourism and air b and b is adding to Mietenwahnsinn by feeding the fire that is housing shortages. 

Stream of Consciousness - STAATSSICHERHEIT to DER PALAST

u know the drill.

FLOWERS FOR A WORLD WITHOUT GENDER

Let me tell you, I have never seen as incredible of a set reveal as I did for Haußmanns Staatssicherheitstheater. I mean there were audible gasps and then a round of applause before the show had even begun. Stage hands rolled on two set pieces containing different rooms from opposite sides of the stage. We thought that was the entire set... until all of a sudden it started rising. Revealed underneath were two more stories of beautifully small, intricate rooms: bedrooms, a bar, livingrooms, etc.

There were walls, ceilings, doors, and stairs. Everything seemed so planned out, so specific. Actors were using the space the way it is used in real life. And then all of a sudden people were walking through walls. Actors would step out of the little rooms and onto the stage in front of them and then continue to have a conversation with people who were still in the rooms all the while straying further and further from them. And then there were scenes dependant on the structure of real rooms, like when two men broke into and then got trapped in a woman's house when she came home. They didn't just walk through the walls then, but were confined to the small space. Why make such a realistic, intricate space just to not use it? But they did use it. Moments of using the set and ignoring it were deliberate, I'm sure. I would love to talk to that director because I found the choices intriguing, though sometimes puzzling, too. Was it just what worked best for each "bit?" Or was there an overarching pattern/reason for moments that ignored the set and those that encompassed it?

Charlotte Does Bunny Ears

The best part of Die Parallelwelt was the concept. I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew there would be two shows playing at the exact same time, but I honestly didn't think there would be any interaction between them. I thought that the pieces would be separate entities. The same show playing out at the same time, but otherwise separate. 

I don't know why I thought that. After seeing the show, it seems obvious that there would be interaction. It makes sense that the shows would work together to create something unique and new rather than being separate. 

There are moments from the show that still stick with me: creepy Fred, the upbeat soundtrack, the terrifying moments of the old-man-baby and the dead cat. The play with gender interested me at the time, though now I'm not quite sure if that really was what they were trying to do. I don't know why the choice was made to have some parallel characters the same gender and others as different genders. 

As I'm typing this out now, I realize that I have more thoughts about this piece than I originally realized. I was ready to type that although I enjoyed the concept, the execution didn't thrill me. However, now that I've reflected on the moments that stood out to me, I've realized something. This show played a lot with fear. Nearly everything that stuck with me is related to fear; related to being afraid, disturbed, and more than uncomfortable. 

I feel like I don't often come across this kind of genre in theater. At least not in this way. This show was creepy, eerie, off-beat, and guttural. It was very different than any other piece we encountered. And for that, I applaud it. I'm interested in seeing more pieces that delve into this genre. So I revoke what I typed earlier. The concept of a parallel-show was not the best part. The world in which this piece lived in was. The fact that it sought to deal with the ominous, frightening, unsettling, and foreboding is what makes it stand out in my memory.

Photocreds to Will

I'll start off by saying that I can't imagine You Are Not the Hero of This Story with a man in it. I'm glad we saw it the way we did. It would have also been cool to have seen it again with the other actor and to be able to compare the performances, takeaways, etc.

The set design was so simple and effective. Watching the actors struggle uphill (literally) sparked in me a fascination and appreciation of the human body.

The voice overs on the other hand left me... wanting more. Whose voices were being played? What were the sources? Why were these voices chosen over others? What was trying to be said? The choices sometimes felt arbitrary. Sometimes weak. If there was a cohesive message in the quotes, I had trouble finding it.

I guess that's how I felt about the entire piece. A little lost. Wanting more. Struggling to discover what was trying to be said.

Purple Jessie

The Misanthrope (Der Menschenfeind) delighted me. A large part in why I enjoyed it was the text. I adored listening to the German rhymes and reading the English ones. I came out of this play wanting to buy the piece and explore it (in all three languages: the original French, German, and English!). 

I also absolutely loved the design of the piece. The set, lighting, and costumes all came together to create a cohesive vision. Everything was beautifully done and pleasing to the eye. I didn't notice the qualms some of my fellow artists had with the direction (mainly it being too linear and flat; the actors were often standing in straight lines) because I was too focused on taking in the beautiful fabric of the clothing and watching the movement of the string/elastic/bungee (?) set. Though I will say that as someone who has not studied directing I might not have the trained eye to pick up on those things in the first place. 

The only part of the piece that felt out of place for me was the transitions. In each transition sequence, music would start blaring and actors would begin performing acrobatics on stage, using the bungee-cord-set as their means with which to do so. I was excited that the actors were playing with the space they were given, but couldn't really see how these moments tied into the overall vision of the piece. 

Transitions aside, I found myself being reminded of Professor Bernhardi while experiencing this play. I think that is because of how controlled and specific it felt while simultaneously feeling very truthful. 

All in all, I know what play I'm reading next.

The Bowl When It Was Respected
vs.
The Bowl Now

Der Palast was the right show to end our journey on. I was floored by the use of language, movement, voice, and pitch. I was once again reminded of the beauty and power of the human body. I think that's something shows in Germany have really done for me. I've come out of them in awe of and with an appreciation for human bodies in a way that I never really have before. It gives me the urge to train my body and use my body to its fullest potential. 

As I move forward you can catch me in movement classes, voice classes, and speech classes. And above of all, catch me in my original piece, co-created by Jessie: Open House (Nothing To See Here).

Stream of Consciousness - LULU to ICH WEISS NICHT WAS EIN ORT IST, KENNE NUR SEINEN PREIS

yes, my thoughts are still back in berlin.

Will this post have relevant photos?!?

Lulu. All I'll say is that I'm glad that wasn't six hours.

Hehehe, maybe not.

More Cool German Phrases That We Share In English:

"Die Augen sind die Fenster zur Seele" = "Eyes are windows to the soul"

"Ich halte dir den Rücken frei" = "I've got your back." Though literally, it's actually: "I'll keep your back free."

Gal Pals

The primary complaint I heard when discussing Status Quo was that the script itself talked about an issue that we're already well versed in. We understand the white, cis-gendered, straight feminist's point of view, so let's talk about some other narratives instead. And though I understand this complaint, I'm glad it was voiced because my headspace wasn't there. I appreciate the learning opportunity and I appreciate being reminded of my own privilege. 

This piece and the conversation we had after both the workshop and actual performance left me with questions, questions, questions. And I think that's a good thing. 

Can we avoid approaching the work we see through our own culture? Should we avoid doing that? How does America's cultural background differ to that of Germany? Specifically when talking about gender equality? Is the fight for gender and racial diversity in America ahead of that in Germany? Is it okay if it is? Do you need to take one step before you can take the next? As in, do you need to fight for women's representation, even if it is just the straight, cis-gendered, white women's experience, before you can fight for the representation of other kinds of women and other kinds of genders? Why would fighting for women's rights even be a step before being able to fight for the rights of other marginalized groups? Is it true to say that a large part of why those other groups are marginalized is because of their association with femininity? If being a woman is seen as lesser, then wouldn't behaving in what has been characterized in our culture as a feminine way be seen as lesser? Could discrimination against lesbians be rooted in the idea that if women are not consumable to men, they have no worth? Is "gay" thrown around as an insult because liking other men is somehow equated to being more feminine? Or does discrimination have less to do with femininity and more to do with gender roles in general? Is breaking down gender roles altogether seen as an attack on society? Is it the idea that if society can't determine what gender you are, how can it judge you? That if gender roles don't exist, how can society define who is superior? 

What are your answers? What are your questions? 

Where do we go from here? Where do I go from here?

I really did enjoy Status Quo. Besides the amazing duck impersonation (perhaps my favorite moment of all the shows we saw) it got me to dig deeper into a topic I thought I was well versed in. It made me realize that I have so much more to learn. And for that, I'm thankful.

Posed Candid (oxymoron)

Abgrund was a piece that still, weeks later, has not quite settled in me. I'm not sure how I feel about it as a whole, but I do have some thoughts about individual aspects.

For one, I loved that we were given headphones. The excitement that rushed through me when I saw them on our seats was enough to make their use worth it. I was excited at the prospect of something new, different, unique, and experimental. And then, it wasn't exactly used in any of those ways. That is, nothing crazy, out-of-this-world went on. I kept waiting for something else to happen, but it never did. The play was entirely what one would expect from a play. Plot. Characters. Watching a story play out on stage. The only difference was that the sound was put directly in your ears. And yet, that made a bigger difference than I realized when I was experiencing it. Afterwards, I asked everyone why they thought the headphones were being used and what they thought was trying to be said. I was surprised to be greeted with an array of different answers, feelings, opinions, and experiences. If nothing else, the headphones made the show personal. 

My takeaway, whether the director's intention or not, was commentary on technology. The combination of headphones and the screen in front of the stage made me think of Netflix. It reminded me of sitting at home on my bed binging a series on my laptop. It raised questions about the role of technology, the role of theater, the blurring lines between the two and the different strengths, weaknesses, and importances of the mediums. I found myself grappling with the notion of "live theater." That's why theater is important isn't it? Because it is live? Or at least, that's the biggest difference between theater and film/TV, isn't it? In Abgrund, everything was being played out live... except that we were hearing the sounds through a filtered system. Does that change the "liveness" of it?

While the headset and screen elements really, really worked for me, there were other parts that did not. Emotionally, this piece fell flat for me. I kept feeling like I should feel upset or distraught or anxious because of the events playing out, but I just couldn't get myself there. It was a strange feeling. I almost started feeling guilty for not feeling how I thought I should be feeling. Maybe the technical elements were supposed to be used as distancing devices. But I still get emotional impacted by events playing out in TV and Film (I cried during Rocketman). And I know the headphones heighted the emotional response for others in our group. Not sure what the takeaway is. But I think that the fact that I'm still thinking about this piece is noteworthy.

Schaubühne Bricks

Abgrund actually kind of had a pre-show announcement which is not a common practice here in Deutschland. But it was related to the use of headphones; the announcer made sure that we were wearing them correctly and that our phones were turned off so that the signals would not interfere with one another. Though it was a pre-show announcement, it was different than they typical one we hear in America reminding us to be respectful theater-goers. I was, however, surprised to hear an American-style announcement at the show the following evening.  Ball Im Savoy began with the loudspeakers telling us that no phone conversations, texting, etc. would be permitted. The woman next to me, a German-speaker, scoffed, leaned over to her friend and said, "Warum?" (Why?) I took this to mean, "Really? People have to be told not to use their phones during a live performance?" Well, maybe not in a culture where the arts are more well integrated into the norm. But in America, I've been surprised to find that not everyone has the same idea of common courtesy, especially when it comes to the theater.

But you know, the more I think about it, I realize that I've seen it here in Germany too and pretty often: people taking pictures and videos, texting, or constantly checking their phones during a performance. Is it as prevalent as it is in the States? I don't think so, but I honestly couldn't tell you. So it makes me wonder: why do we have those announcements in the States and why doesn't Germany?

Pansy and Ladybug Friend

Was ist ein "Knacks?" war die Frage, die ich, nach René Polleschs Stück "Ich Weiss Nicht Was Ein Ort Ist, Kenne Nur Seinen Preis" zwei Frauen gefragt habe. "Ich spreche Englisch, ich bin eine Studentin und ich lerne Deutsch. Ich habe dieses Wort sehr oft gehört, aber ich weiß nicht was es meint." Und sie haben gesagt, "Ach so. Es ist wie ein "crack." Wenn etwas kaputt ist, aber nur ein bisschen? Nicht ganz kaputt aber..."

"Ich denke, dass ich verstehe. Wie schreibt man "knacks?"

"Also, es ist nicht ein Wort, das oft geschrieben ist. Aber ich denke, wenn man es schreiben will, dann ist es K-N-A-C-K-S. Komisch für ein deutsches Wort."

"Ah! Okay, danke! Also es ist ein Wort, das klingelt wie, was es meint."

"Ja und es können auch andere Bedeutungen haben. Wenn man ein bisschen verrückt ist, zum Beispiel, dann sagt man dass er ein Knacks im Kopf hat.  Oder, wenn man jemand liebt, aber die Liebe wird nicht zurück gegeben, dann hat man ein Knacks im Herz." 

"Ich finde dass sehr interessant. Danke! Und danke, dass Sie haben Deutsch mit mir gesprochen."

Yellow

If you can't tell, I am Asian! My mom and pops are both from HK. I was born in NY, raised in HK and China for a good chunk of my childhood, and I was raised in NJ. I grew up in a small town in Edison and the public schools I have attended tend to consist of a majority of students of different race, ethnicities, and nationalities. In school, I have always gravitated towards music, drawing, theater, and science. I had a fascination in observing the world around me while creating another universe in my mind and living through it in different mediums of art.
In school, I never felt singled out for enjoying singing or creating music or participating in theater. I never really had an issue with diversity art in school most of the kids in our school are people of color. Except for theater, as far as I remember, Asians never seem to gravitate towards the theater.
I weened off of doing theater for a good chunk of high school and a part of college because I felt like I did not belong. I never really understood why. But I was curious and I thought I should give it another try. I was still curious. I went on this trip to discover more about theater. There was so much more to learn, and the idea of the world being my classroom really piqued my interest.
Before I went on this trip, my family, especially my sister expressed their doubts if I was going to fit in. I actually faced a lot of doubt on this trip because I was scared I would feel left out, or didn't belong. I thought of the worst-case scenario of dealing with racism and discrimination because I am yellow. I prepared myself mentally by looking up stats on the Asian population, and then I found myself going through a Reddit feed on posts read along the lines of "Asians in Germany", "Chinese living in Germany". I wanted to have a realistic expectation of the Asian experience in Berlin.

Now that I have lived it, I can give you my two cents:

• Being an Asian in Berlin is not so rotten! Phew! Germans actually treated me like a local here and did not assume I was a foreigner. In fact, some locals even spoke to me in German! I was a little surprised. There was a moment when I felt guilty for imagining the worst-case scenario, and for not giving the German people enough credit. It was a sigh of relief and some guilt.
• There were days when I felt I was being stared at, and I thought they must be staring because they don't see Asians much often. (Asians make up 5% of the German demographic). Then, I read Charlotte's post, and I realized that that was probably not case. Apparently, Germans have a tendency to keep prolonged stares. As one could tell by "EGGY", I actually have that habit too. I am just naturally curious, and I like to observe people and I guess the Germans like to do the same too.
• Crybaby: Christopher, "If you look at the crowd tonight, you can tell what kind of audience this director attracts." I looked around, and I saw a bunch of mid-20s, artsy, grungy hipsters, and then I saw two Asians. 
• Remote Mitte: "Gather into a circle. Look to your left. Look to your right. Look around you, who looks different from you?" Around me, I was the only yellow person. For a moment, I felt special, I was the center of attention, yet I have never so alone and singled out
• Towards the end of the trip, I noticed there were even more Asians! Many of them were tourists from around the world. There was a lady who spoke in Mandarin asked for directions to the restroom at the Altes Museum. 
• I noticed a reoccurring pattern - there were not a lot of Asian audiences or performers in the theater. I think I saw one Asian actor in You Are Not the Hero of This Story. But hey, who is counting? 
• I think the frustrating part of being a person of color and seeing 19 plays with very few Asian characters is the feeling of being invisible and that no one wants to hear your story. There were moments when I saw black actors on stage and I would first be in shock, but then I would cheer them on. Then I realized there were no lead actors who were POC. If a POC was on stage, they were either 1) the chorus or 2) a minor character with very little character development. Then, it dawned on me - there is a lack of representation of people of color in German Theater.
• Der Palast: I saw 3 Asian actors on stage. 
  I did not expect to be so emotional and filled with so much pride when I saw 3 Asians on stage. I did not realize how important it was for me to witness it myself. To me, that is a lot because, in American theater, I usually see one Asian person that puts" color" in the cast. I was happy and filled with pride to see Asians representation on stage, but it also stung a little because of the 19 shows, I saw 4 Asian actors on stage. Seeing the Asian actors on stage made me emotional, yet hopeful, empowered, and strong. 
• The ostracization of race in the theater is apparent. When I started to speak about how I felt about representation on stage, I felt I a little strange. I think that it is strange that people look to me to speak about representation in theater, especially in a theater class because that gives me a lot of power. Also, I also cannot say that my thoughts on representation in theater accurately depicts and paints the scope of what every Asian feels about representation. The title of being a "spokesperson" puts a lot of pressure because I cannot speak for everyone, but if I don't say anything, I am letting a problem slide by, which is not okay. So I am going to put it all out there, but remember to take what I say with a grain of salt. I am waiting for a day when I don't have to talk about representation in film and theater.  There will come a time when there won't be any more talk on Asian representation in theater and film, that's when I will know that, without a doubt, representation exists. Does that make sense? I don't think it will happen in my lifetime, but I can't expect everything to happen all at once. It is going to take time for change to happen. 

• Representation matters no matter where you are in the world.
• To the artists of color who love theater, music, art, dance. Continue what you're doing. Practice your craft. You do belong, your voice matters, and we need more of you.

DiStOrTiOn

"A head is a matter of eyes, nose, mouth, which can be distributed any way you like." - Pablo Picasso