Berliner Blues

Coming home and feeling like I was a step above everyone around me, people ask me how was the trip, and some probably regretted their question as soon as I opened my mouth.

Clearly, they were not ready for the passion kept within my 5'1 body.

How has it been just weeks over a month and I feel Berlin finally has compressed itself into my memories, it has accepted it's position as my happy place to think of, but no longer kinetic. It knows it will feel like a long time before I return.

Maybe I'm so down because of these damn tonsils. (or lack there of)
A week and one day since they were removed.
They never gave me too much of an issue, closed up my airways a few times and I had a hard time eating- but nothing to really complain about.
Now I've returned to the ER and had to have the surgery redone because the stitches refuse to stitch.
The dead fuckers just won't leave me alone.

I've laid in bed every day, and haven't eaten anything since Tuesday the 21st- due to my mouth being unable to open.

I think of the food I ate in Berlin- I think of YamYam.
I think of the scallops from the first night.
That huge cheeseburger that without a doubt I would probably be able to eat 3 of right now.

Everyone complains in my house that my stomach growls too loud at night.
I have to use a cowbell to get someone to help me out of bed.

Even when I shared a room with two other people and 40+ towels it was easier to get out of bed.

I'm awake in bed really late now, because of all the energy I never burn-when it hits 2 am I count and say, it's 8 am in Berlin. I wonder if Crobag still have the sandwiches I like.

I've known food to bring tears to a persons eyes, but this heartbreak is inhumane.

My room is a Berlin shrine, anything and everything that could be put on a wall or shelf, has been hung or propped. (and the occasional Lars can be found)

I think it's Berlin that keeps me going because anyone else would probably have gone crazy with this much bed rest. I was grateful then, and I'm grateful now.

I miss every little piece that made Berlin, Berlin for me. Even those stupid high schoolers in the halls.

No, never mind- I hate those kids.