Dear Berlin,
Before coming to Berlin, I never felt
nervous but two days before leaving, it all hit me. I got a bit nervous
about if I would stick out as a non-Mason Grosser and if I had enough art and theater
background to understand the plethora of information that I knew was coming,
but in the end I realized I applied for the program to learn more and to put
myself in the position of being surrounded by theater and art all the time for
the first time. I hoped to not drive my passion dry (if I did that would tell
me something about how to handle my future as I approach my senior year.) I
also wanted to learn from Christopher and my peers and to have an experience
where we feed off of each other’s ideas and knowledge. I went back to preparing
for my trip: reading “Berlin”, packing, shopping, and contemplating the days
that were to come. Little did I know that when I got here, I would feel as if
Berlin was a smaller version of New York City. Prior to Berlin, I felt Europe
was a romantic place but when walking through the streets of Berlin towards Brandenburger
Gate, I felt a completely different vibe. The word that describes Berlin
according to our required reading is “volatile” and I felt the presence of a
traumatic history. However, amongst the historical buildings, there are cranes
and construction building modern day Berlin, which creates a society ready to
overcome its past. The scars of Berlin, like bullet holes in the walls of older
buildings, are reminders to work towards Germany’s improvement. The people of
Berlin rely on a trust system now and have more open social standards, like how
their tram relies on the honor system but still need to work towards equality
as seen between the different treatment for the Italian versus Turkish
population. Little details add up to a bigger picture of a volatile city.
“Berlin” was the prologue to my
trip and from the chapters that I read I realized I connected more with the
women. No doubt because I am a woman myself, but also
because the stories seem to be less about politics and war and more about the
portrayal of human emotion and the vulnerability these women expose. Specifically,
Else Hirsch’s story showed me a different type of environment for a woman to
live in where prostitution was a better choice for her than living poorly in
her hometown. She felt she had it all: attention from men, the feeling of being
wanted, an extravagant lifestyle, and power over her own life. However, when a
painter gave his full attention to her without wanting her body, she learned
she had a lack of love, which deems to be the issue for Else in the book, but
also for other Germans. The romance of a relationship disappears for both men
and women because women become objects. The objectification of women can’t be
more clearly shown than in the writing about Fritz Haber who clearly showed his
wife meant nothing to him. He didn’t even mourn his wife’s death because he
expressed that she was a “distraction” from his true potentials for
contributing to science and improving Germany (but also contributing to the gas
chambers that the Nazis used against his own people since he was Jewish, as
well). Sadly, this lack of love can easily be found today at any corner of the
globe; however, Berlin is aware of that sad fact of life.
Knowing that when I walked the
streets of Berlin, I was walking on the land of where these stories took place,
I realized that stories from the past could correlate with the world today.
History either repeats itself or people “learn from history’s mistakes”. This
was an eye opener for me to see it before my eyes in Berlin because of the
growing modernization of the city and constant renovation for something new
amongst the many museums and historical monuments. Time does change but does
life change over the years? Do people still have the same focus and wants
generations later? Do they care about the same qualities for society to
have? How do they look at and contribute
to society? How do people perceive history and how does it affect their daily
life or current time period? Based on my experiences, people can learn from
being told a story, but usually prefer to experience their lesson for
themselves. Learning hands on is better than learning from a book, as well.
Germany unfortunately learned the hard way. This experience is a lesson that
the country experienced, remembers, and learned from to not repeat their
mistake. Ultimately, we are defined by how we deal with hard times, not the
good times. In the darkness, there is light, but that is a positive perspective
made through the power of choice. It’s
how I try to look at the world.
I have friends who have studied
abroad and others who were studying abroad at Rutgers University and both
claimed to have life-changing experiences that helped define who they were;
however, never is the same story every told twice, so here I am writing this
first blog entry knowing that my last blog entry is unpredictable and going to
happen 16 shows later. After 4 days,
I have already been hit with so much information but I constantly crave more. From
our first dinner I decided to experience this trip with no expectations and to
journal as much as I can. An added goal is to take one step at a time and
choose quality over quantity. I don’t expect to learn about all of Berlin in 3
weeks but I will take in as much as I can while trying to go deeper into my
thoughts instead of trying to memorize too much. On the contrary to memorizing,
I want to experience Berlin. Whatever lessons I learn through reading “Berlin”
are the added details to enriching my experiences. I’m excited to see what
stories are to come from my peers and I accept being in the unknown about what’s
to come.
Cheers to an amazing trip.
xox
Laura
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