Stream of Consciousness - LULU to ICH WEISS NICHT WAS EIN ORT IST, KENNE NUR SEINEN PREIS

yes, my thoughts are still back in berlin.

Will this post have relevant photos?!?

Lulu. All I'll say is that I'm glad that wasn't six hours.

Hehehe, maybe not.

More Cool German Phrases That We Share In English:

"Die Augen sind die Fenster zur Seele" = "Eyes are windows to the soul"

"Ich halte dir den Rücken frei" = "I've got your back." Though literally, it's actually: "I'll keep your back free."

Gal Pals

The primary complaint I heard when discussing Status Quo was that the script itself talked about an issue that we're already well versed in. We understand the white, cis-gendered, straight feminist's point of view, so let's talk about some other narratives instead. And though I understand this complaint, I'm glad it was voiced because my headspace wasn't there. I appreciate the learning opportunity and I appreciate being reminded of my own privilege. 

This piece and the conversation we had after both the workshop and actual performance left me with questions, questions, questions. And I think that's a good thing. 

Can we avoid approaching the work we see through our own culture? Should we avoid doing that? How does America's cultural background differ to that of Germany? Specifically when talking about gender equality? Is the fight for gender and racial diversity in America ahead of that in Germany? Is it okay if it is? Do you need to take one step before you can take the next? As in, do you need to fight for women's representation, even if it is just the straight, cis-gendered, white women's experience, before you can fight for the representation of other kinds of women and other kinds of genders? Why would fighting for women's rights even be a step before being able to fight for the rights of other marginalized groups? Is it true to say that a large part of why those other groups are marginalized is because of their association with femininity? If being a woman is seen as lesser, then wouldn't behaving in what has been characterized in our culture as a feminine way be seen as lesser? Could discrimination against lesbians be rooted in the idea that if women are not consumable to men, they have no worth? Is "gay" thrown around as an insult because liking other men is somehow equated to being more feminine? Or does discrimination have less to do with femininity and more to do with gender roles in general? Is breaking down gender roles altogether seen as an attack on society? Is it the idea that if society can't determine what gender you are, how can it judge you? That if gender roles don't exist, how can society define who is superior? 

What are your answers? What are your questions? 

Where do we go from here? Where do I go from here?

I really did enjoy Status Quo. Besides the amazing duck impersonation (perhaps my favorite moment of all the shows we saw) it got me to dig deeper into a topic I thought I was well versed in. It made me realize that I have so much more to learn. And for that, I'm thankful.

Posed Candid (oxymoron)

Abgrund was a piece that still, weeks later, has not quite settled in me. I'm not sure how I feel about it as a whole, but I do have some thoughts about individual aspects.

For one, I loved that we were given headphones. The excitement that rushed through me when I saw them on our seats was enough to make their use worth it. I was excited at the prospect of something new, different, unique, and experimental. And then, it wasn't exactly used in any of those ways. That is, nothing crazy, out-of-this-world went on. I kept waiting for something else to happen, but it never did. The play was entirely what one would expect from a play. Plot. Characters. Watching a story play out on stage. The only difference was that the sound was put directly in your ears. And yet, that made a bigger difference than I realized when I was experiencing it. Afterwards, I asked everyone why they thought the headphones were being used and what they thought was trying to be said. I was surprised to be greeted with an array of different answers, feelings, opinions, and experiences. If nothing else, the headphones made the show personal. 

My takeaway, whether the director's intention or not, was commentary on technology. The combination of headphones and the screen in front of the stage made me think of Netflix. It reminded me of sitting at home on my bed binging a series on my laptop. It raised questions about the role of technology, the role of theater, the blurring lines between the two and the different strengths, weaknesses, and importances of the mediums. I found myself grappling with the notion of "live theater." That's why theater is important isn't it? Because it is live? Or at least, that's the biggest difference between theater and film/TV, isn't it? In Abgrund, everything was being played out live... except that we were hearing the sounds through a filtered system. Does that change the "liveness" of it?

While the headset and screen elements really, really worked for me, there were other parts that did not. Emotionally, this piece fell flat for me. I kept feeling like I should feel upset or distraught or anxious because of the events playing out, but I just couldn't get myself there. It was a strange feeling. I almost started feeling guilty for not feeling how I thought I should be feeling. Maybe the technical elements were supposed to be used as distancing devices. But I still get emotional impacted by events playing out in TV and Film (I cried during Rocketman). And I know the headphones heighted the emotional response for others in our group. Not sure what the takeaway is. But I think that the fact that I'm still thinking about this piece is noteworthy.

Schaubühne Bricks

Abgrund actually kind of had a pre-show announcement which is not a common practice here in Deutschland. But it was related to the use of headphones; the announcer made sure that we were wearing them correctly and that our phones were turned off so that the signals would not interfere with one another. Though it was a pre-show announcement, it was different than they typical one we hear in America reminding us to be respectful theater-goers. I was, however, surprised to hear an American-style announcement at the show the following evening.  Ball Im Savoy began with the loudspeakers telling us that no phone conversations, texting, etc. would be permitted. The woman next to me, a German-speaker, scoffed, leaned over to her friend and said, "Warum?" (Why?) I took this to mean, "Really? People have to be told not to use their phones during a live performance?" Well, maybe not in a culture where the arts are more well integrated into the norm. But in America, I've been surprised to find that not everyone has the same idea of common courtesy, especially when it comes to the theater.

But you know, the more I think about it, I realize that I've seen it here in Germany too and pretty often: people taking pictures and videos, texting, or constantly checking their phones during a performance. Is it as prevalent as it is in the States? I don't think so, but I honestly couldn't tell you. So it makes me wonder: why do we have those announcements in the States and why doesn't Germany?

Pansy and Ladybug Friend

Was ist ein "Knacks?" war die Frage, die ich, nach René Polleschs Stück "Ich Weiss Nicht Was Ein Ort Ist, Kenne Nur Seinen Preis" zwei Frauen gefragt habe. "Ich spreche Englisch, ich bin eine Studentin und ich lerne Deutsch. Ich habe dieses Wort sehr oft gehört, aber ich weiß nicht was es meint." Und sie haben gesagt, "Ach so. Es ist wie ein "crack." Wenn etwas kaputt ist, aber nur ein bisschen? Nicht ganz kaputt aber..."

"Ich denke, dass ich verstehe. Wie schreibt man "knacks?"

"Also, es ist nicht ein Wort, das oft geschrieben ist. Aber ich denke, wenn man es schreiben will, dann ist es K-N-A-C-K-S. Komisch für ein deutsches Wort."

"Ah! Okay, danke! Also es ist ein Wort, das klingelt wie, was es meint."

"Ja und es können auch andere Bedeutungen haben. Wenn man ein bisschen verrückt ist, zum Beispiel, dann sagt man dass er ein Knacks im Kopf hat.  Oder, wenn man jemand liebt, aber die Liebe wird nicht zurück gegeben, dann hat man ein Knacks im Herz." 

"Ich finde dass sehr interessant. Danke! Und danke, dass Sie haben Deutsch mit mir gesprochen."