1:08pm surrounded by life

I have far too much to say and far too little tine left in this city. It is 1:08pm on June 9th. I am sitting in a rose garden somewhere near Bellevue Palace. I am by myself, yet surrounded by so many. I only have two days left here, and that makes my heart heavy. I am not entirely sure why, I can't quite put my finger on it. I think these past few weeks have been one big einfuhlong for me. Berlin is a work of art. Full of art. Full of life. Fully of history. I can feel it all around me. It is something that makes my brain buss and my toes tingle. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Awake. Alive. Hungry. And I only had to cross an ocean for that.
I learned something new every day and I learned even more about myself. Berlin has been a bug step in my journey of self discovery I realized I can be so much more and I can do so much more. I am not one specific thing. I am an artist. And I can own that. 
Since learning about the post dramatic in Dramaturgy, and since aligning myself as a dramaturg, I have felt a sort of kinship and attraction to German theater. They see things differently that we do. They live in the post-dramatic. They eat up theory. And then they do it. They devise, they alter text, they play with design. It was a refreshing break from the American pace. Among learning things about myself, I saw bits and pieces of art and performance that I want to do. It may not be realistic to work in Berlin one day, but it is realistic to brings aspects of their craft here.  Nothing is stopping us here in America from bringing the post-dramatic here. It may take time, and it will certainly take adjustment, but it is possible to introduce a new way of thinking and a new model. And I want to forever thank Berlin for showing me that. To show me the dream and how to make it realistic.
It will hurt to walk away from what feels to be the epi-center of the work that I want to do. What I had been waiting an entire school year for. It has left me hungry for so much. I want to read the theory books. I want to make connections. I want to see shows that challenge what performance is. I want to live in the post dramatic and never leave. But I walk away with such a sense of artistic fulfillment that I haven't gotten in a long time. I walk away knowing that I have stretched my intellect and flexed my observational skills. I walk away knowing that I have grown, tangling roots with the city and reaching for the sky. I walk away humbled, motivated, and happy. 
Berlin will always need you.