It Touched My Acting

Today is Wednesday, halfway through our second week and over halfway done with our trip to Berlin. I have had so many beautiful experiences and like many things in life it has been a roller coaster. But a peak that I hit on this trip has affected me greatly. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. It was one night, one show, one encounter, one conversation and it all had to do with one actor, Lars Eidinger. I can say with confidence that experiencing him play Richard III at Schabuhne was the single best acting experience I have had in my life thus far. It was also one of the most impactful experiences of my entire life.

I have been on the fucking struggle. Like fuck man. What even is acting? What is the point of it all? Can theater really do something? Does talent exist? Does acting have the power to change lives? When I am on stage, what am I? What is character? What is contact with a partner? We all know it when we are experiencing great acting. We all know it when we are being moved by the divine. Why is the experience so rare? The people who get there...how do they do it?

After seeing Richard III I saw show after show. While watching some of these shows I was brought to tears. But not by the show I was watching. My mind brought me back to the image of Richard taking the microphone center stage. I was instantly, uncontrollably zapped back to that moment. And it was so beautiful. This feat was happening and I was there. True acting. Transcendence. It was happening. and the it...I can't explain.

We got the opportunity to meet him. This really nice, humble, and open man. He talked to us for quite a long time. He really listened.....

Fuck why is this so continually hard to write about.

I think its beyond us. It rises above us. Comes through us.


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"This is what is possible" I thought. "This is what we can do"